I just put a down payment on a month long 200 hour yoga teacher training course in Rishikesh, India beginning in February. I’ve been on the verge of tears all day for no specific reasons besides just having too many feelings, and I vacillate between extreme anticipation and extreme anxiety about this decision. I spent this last year wallowing in doing nothing besides working in restaurant and living with my mom in the suburbs, feeling like I’m in a constant loop of reliving high school except now I drink in bars instead of parks, and this is the first real decision I’ve made since coming back from Italy last November. It might be a scapegoat or it might lead me in some kind of direction, maybe it’s both! I don’t know! All I do know is that 12 months of my life have gone by, and I have nothing to show for them except for a renewed sense of purpose, a sense of purpose that for once, isn’t structured by school and the minute I heard about this program, I felt like I had been punched in the stomach and I had no doubt that this was something I wanted to do. So this is a thing that is happening in my life now, action!